Transition support for Veterans in Bay Area
Transition support for Veterans in Bay Area
Returning Veterans of Diablo Valley provides transition coaching, writing workshops, and a publishing platform to Veterans in service of cultivating community, healing, transformation, and leadership.
“I think that RVDV has figured out what Veterans value. It’s simple; a place to build community”. – Octavious Scott, U.S. Navy Veteran
Why can transitions be difficult?
A Second Class Citizen: My Time as a Woman in the Marine Corps
When I joined the Marines, I never imagined I would suffer from persistent loneliness, or that I'd have to travel down one of the darkest paths of my lifeMy recruiter told me I would find brotherhood, lifelong friendship, and treasured memories. I did, eventually, but it took me four difficult years. During that time, I endured endless sexism, harassment, and bullying. I couldn’t have friends, and when I tried, I was labeled as lesbian or a whore. All I wanted was friendship. Instead of being called a bitch and being looked at as nothing more than a sex object, I needed to be treated like a human. I needed to be treated with respect and care as most of the males had treated each other with on some level or another.
How to Stop Smoking Marijuana
Perhaps you feel desperate. Up to this point, you use marijuana compulsively. You've often felt guilty about the habit, tried to stop, but the substance continues to hang around in your life. You know that, technically, it's not physically addictive, but in other ways -- it's entirely enslaving. Deep down, you really want to stop. You sense it holds you back. I should warn you, however, the answer you seek on this page is one you may not want to hear. Why? Because it will likely hit your defenses, and that defense is what composes the thread which binds the substance to your life. You use cannabis to avoid feeling emotional and psychological pain.
Scraping the Skull of My Psyche with a Scalpel
I've traveled to the center of my soul. Doing this has been the single most profoundly difficult, exhaustive, and emotionally arduous inward journey of my entire life. As I write this, my heart feels battered, bruised, its veins are sore, the wound still bleeds through capillary walls -- has yet to clot. This is all a welcome change from the deep-water arterial surges of depression, anxiety, an panic that have crashed over me as I lay at the mercy of grief. I understand more fully now why we humans tend to avoid experiencing pain, particularly the soul-shocking fear, anger, and sadness pang waves that begin in the gut, travel up to the brain stem, and settle in for the heavy haul at the core of the amygdala. "Who would pay to feel this way?" I've often asked myself rhetorically. It's difficult, tiring, pulverizing, and requires inconceivable endurance.
The Soul Crushing Pain of Family Estrangement
My mother was sexually abused by her father. Growing up, I was completely blind of this horrible fact. Yet I experienced its profoundly devastating ripple affects: from countless men entering and exiting our lives and home, exposure to my mother's rampant sexual life, a gaping void of maternal and paternal nurturance, constant instability, role reversal -- where I often behaved like a father to my mother -- to pervasive feelings of depression, worthlessness, anxiety, stress, worry, rage, sadness, confusion, guilt, shame, and self-blame, which all flourished under a thick dome of denial.
How I Transformed My Relationship
I met my wife on the internet. Eharmony to be precise. It was early 2015 and I just got out of a tumultuous short-term relationship, which ended because the woman forgot my middle name -- I became enraged, packed up, and left her.
Torture in Mahmudiyah: An Unbearable Chamber of Suffering
Standing a few steps into the room, we both watched in horror, yet were mesmerized as we traded smirks. We'd never seen anything like this before. "If this person was responsible for plotting to kill us", we reasoned, "perhaps he's getting what he deserves." We walked out feeling concerned and debated whether to tell someone. We returned a moment later to see that one of the interrogators was urgently fumbling with a small battery one long red wire. "What are you going to do with that?" I asked the young Iraqi Army soldier. "We're going to electrocute him" he replied. "Then, he will tell us everything." I felt a knot form in the pit of my stomach. "This is not a good idea, but I want to see" I thought -- as my desire to tell our captain strengthened equally.
Ali Baba: A Marine Squad’s Brush With Death
The boy came up to our first team and yelled out “Ali Baba!” while pointing northward. Long radioed details back to me and I made the decision to take the team in that direction, the target would have to wait, since there was an Ali Baba that called for our attention. The young man walked forward with our point team while I stayed near the center of our patrol with Lcpl. Schlehr, our radioman, to my side. Long remembers that as the team made its way north, more and more kids joined the parade, and eventually two adults joined in. We didn’t have an interpreter in our patrol that day, but Long could tell that Iraqis were trying to tell us there was danger ahead.
For Me, The Marine Corps Was a Suicide Mission
I joined the Marine Corps in hopes of dying an honorable death and restoring dignity to my family name. My reaction to knowing that I would be deployed to Iraq in 2004 was nothing short of hysteria. "Finally", I thought, "If all goes right (or "wrong") I can put an end to feeling unworthy and living this miserable life in one of the most honorable ways possible."
Phoenix Rising: Becoming a Survivor
It’s November 6, 1993, and I’m enjoying a beautiful evening on base in San Diego. I’m 19 years old - out with shipmates dancing and having a few drinks at the club on base. Feeling tired as the night went on, I decided to walk back to the ship early without my friends. It was raining sporadically that week, like it often does, so I was looking down towards the concrete, dodging puddles in the parking lot. What happened next was the most traumatic event of my life and would alter it forever.
I Understand Your Deep Sadness
A few days ago I was having a really rough time emotionally, feeling heartbroken. To be up front, today isn't all that glorious either. Things periodically get difficult since I'm currently in psychotherapy talking about very painful things - not to mention the fact that I'm human and inherently vulnerable to a universal spectrum of suffering.
“I want to start doing my homework.”
5th grader at Oak Grove Elementary 4/8/2019
As an educator myself, I understand the importance of giving students of all ages unique and captivating learning experiences; and the RVDV speaker’s bureau delivers. Whether it be Veterans reading excerpts of personal war narratives, talking about confronting difficulty at home, question and answer sessions, presenting military artifacts, or simply reminding each student about their own inner brilliance and resources, as a teacher, you’ll be glad we came.
Semper Fidelis,
Ryan Berg
Marine Corps Combat Veteran
Creator, Returning Veterans of Diablo Valley
'Take off' with Returning Veterans of Diablo Valley
“The RVDV blog blows me away. The bravery of these Veterans to look at themselves and deal with their pain, especially publicly, amazes me. For every misguided, negative response, I bet there are many more who are inspired, even if they don’t share it. Thank you RVDV for what you are doing.” — Ehren Tool, Gulf War Marine Veteran, UC Berkeley staff and ceramic artist
“Each time I read the RVDV blog, I see bravery for putting that stuff out there because it might help someone else.” — Charlie Harrison, military Veterans Yoga teacher
“This post is heartbreaking to read. Your willingness to open and heal all of this is inspiring to me, as I wrestle with the physical loss of my mom, and the grief about the mother she was never able to be.” — Doug Paxton, Ph.D., Leadership Studies Professor, Saint Mary’s College of California
“Returning home from service in Iraq, it took awhile for me to realize that the fitting in thing wasn’t happening. There were weeks at a time when I couldn’t leave the house. Returning Veterans of Diablo Valley found a counselor for me. They said, “You want to be with this guy”. They picked me up and drove me to appointments several times. They basically just listened patiently to me, took me out to eat, and made me feel like it was OK. I wasn’t broke to a degree that couldn’t be fixed”. Michael, Iraq Veteran, U.S. Army
“Because of RVDV reaching out to help support and guide me in my educational endeavor, I was able to attend UC Berkeley’s HAAS School of Business. They linked me up with the Cal Veterans Group, as well as transfer and mentor programs that gave applicants like me a leg up during the admissions process. Their mentorship and advice complimented my own hard work at community college – and they helped me to best represent my potential as a returning military veteran”. Howard, Iraq Veteran, U.S. Army
I opened up my Contra Costa Times this morning and initially saw the 
“Returning Veterans of Diablo Valley’s “Welcome Home” event helped connect me to employers of incredible interest. It was fascinating to know what kinds of opportunities await me as I’m about to graduate from college. With employers like Google and FBI showing up to provide instant resume feedback, it was extremely valuable for someone in my position”. RVDV Update: Since shaking hands with the Contra Costa County Sheriff’s Office in this picture, Stephen went on to become a sheriff’s deputy in the county. Stephen Otico, Marine Veteran.
Let's touch base. Call or email.
415.852.2734
ryan@returningvetsofdiablovalley.org
Military Veteran Transition Support • Bay Area
Website by Ryan Berg
A Second Class Citizen: My Time as a Woman in the Marine Corps
How to Stop Smoking Marijuana
Scraping the Skull of My Psyche with a Scalpel
The Soul Crushing Pain of Family Estrangement
How I Transformed My Relationship
Torture in Mahmudiyah: An Unbearable Chamber of Suffering
Ali Baba: A Marine Squad’s Brush With Death
For Me, The Marine Corps Was a Suicide Mission
Phoenix Rising: Becoming a Survivor
I Understand Your Deep Sadness
The Heartbreak of Leaving the Marine Corps
Pain Is Never Weakness Leaving the Body
Thank God for Emotional Pain
Leadership and Healing: Creating Space for Transformation
